like a baby

Before she left Ukraine my wife said she would be just like a baby in the US not knowing anything.

Why after 3 years do I feel like the one who does not know anything?

I just think many RW are stubborn and will only look to another RW or an authority figure (not a husband) for advice?

Do you feel this too?

Stubborn? Not at all. We just really know anything better than males :

It is obvious that when a RW moves to another country she has to start her new life from zero. It will take sometime for her to adjust and complete her orientation and of course she depends on her husband to help her in this process.

I will agree with you that Russian women are very stubborn and have the tendency not to listen to their foreign husbands and trust better one of their own!

I had to face similar situation myself while I was in Russia, before and after the wedding, but my wife soon realised that she gets better advice from me than her semi-ignorant friends.

When we had to apply for her Visa to the UK Visa centre in Moscow my wife was told by her friends that she has to change her passport before she can travel on Aeroflot to go to Moscow. Of course that was rubbish and she used her internal passport with no problems.

Unfortunately people in Russia, when they have to contact some kind of Authority, especially women tent first to ask friends for information regarding this matter instead of going to the horses is mouth to find accurate information. In Russia today and Hellen will verify that you can find most of the necessary information on line but the problem is that many of those at work have little knowledge of the regulations or the Law and when you ask questions you dont always get the right answers.

Are you sure that there is no lack of communication between you and your wife and you do understand each other well?

No, Wiz we communicate very well.
It is just that she thinks she has received better advice from other people.

<div class="quote">Lorenzo said:</div><div class="quotetext">I just think many RW are stubborn and will only look to another RW or an authority figure (not a husband) for advice?

Do you feel this too?</div>

Again, what does it have to do with other women? If your wife stubborn and won't listen to your advises it is just your bad luck.

<div class="quote">Lorenzo said:</div><div class="quotetext">Do you feel this too?</div>

Lorenzo-

Maybe you need to be a bit more specific with that question. But for a generic overview of the past 3 years of marriage with my wife, this is what I can summize regarding this particular arena.

One of the things that is required of us to recognize is the fact that these women are already set in their ways. The added ingredient of having to adjust to a new environment will incite a lot of apprehension and skepticism on their part. They will all be aware that a thought process is forefront prior to reacting because of the process of adjustment. Where reactions used to be second nature back home, now they have to process things before they react. This period will be such an unnatural situation where they may do things contrary to what we say that gives them an appearance of being stubborn.

Are Russian women prone to be a bit more stubborn than any other women? Yes and No. Yes, if compared to women in our society, and No, they aren't, if compared to other immigrating women.

As for taking advice from me, there are certain aspects of our lives where my wife will not even dare second guess what I tell her. There are also certain things she would discuss at lenght with me just to massage the issue at hand for better understanding, or on a very rare occasion; if the matter is not private, she may try and get a third opinion from one of her AW/RW friend.

There have been times where my wife felt she knew better despite my urging to the contrary. Unless it's detriment to our lives, I give my wife the space and let her find out herself. I believe this is a necessary evil for both of us to learn and earn each other's trust.

I aspire to have my wife trust her instincts and challenge me in some of our discussion. I do not want her to take everything I say and think as gospel. I find nothing more annoying than having a woman do everything I say. She knows she have my utmost support in her progression. She also knows where she need to draw the line in our relationship, vis-a-vis.

If heaven forbid anything happens to me, or during the times when I'm not around, I would like the comfort of knowing my wife have enough confidence and fortitude in herself that she will not be helpless to make decisions on her own. I always encourage her to make decisions on her own with matters that will not catastrophically impact our lives and relationship.

Progress and growth, whether it's relationship or the people in it, is stunted under a one-sided controlled environment. When that happens, the relationship weakens and both people wither away...

Zosya_2,
She trusts other Russian Women and will ask them about their experiences with certain issues when she doubts the accuracy of my advice. It can be anything from seeing a doctor, getting her drivers license, financial matters or child rearing advice. Her child is my stepchild, so I think I deserve to be heard. After all, I was a teenager once, back in the last century. Every person is different in the way they raise their children. I try to teach what I think is proper behavior but I think because I grew up in the 1960's the times have changed. There are still the same issues such as getting good grades, doing homework and knowing the consequences of being sexually active at 15 or 16. These are just a few examples. I don't know why my wife would think her friends know more about things like traffic laws in certain states and other things that are specific to the US. I think she does this because she needs reassurance from another RW who has experienced the same issues. Maybe I should not question it and let her do this if it makes her comfortable.

<div class="quote">Lorenzo said:</div><div class="quotetext">Zosya_2,
She trusts other Russian Women and will ask them about their experiences with certain issues when she doubts the accuracy of my advice. It can be anything from seeing a doctor, getting her drivers license, financial matters or child rearing advice. Her child is my stepchild, so I think I deserve to be heard. After all, I was a teenager once, back in the last century. Every person is different in the way they raise their children. I try to teach what I think is proper behavior but I think because I grew up in the 1960's the times have changed. There are still the same issues such as getting good grades, doing homework and knowing the consequences of being sexually active at 15 or 16. These are just a few examples. I don't know why my wife would think her friends know more about things like traffic laws in certain states and other things that are specific to the US. I think she does this because she needs reassurance from another RW who has experienced the same issues. Maybe I should not question it and let her do this if it makes her comfortable.</div>

I can't relate to that even though I'm a RW, for the first few years my husband was the only sorce of advise for me. I understand your frustration, but may be you can understand me, when all of us become labeled on example of one particular woman. We are not the same.

<div class="quote">Lorenzo said:</div><div class="quotetext">She trusts other Russian Women and will ask them about their experiences with certain issues when she doubts the accuracy of my advice. It can be anything from seeing a doctor, getting her drivers license, financial matters or child rearing advice.</div>
<div class="quote">Zosya_2 said:</div><div class="quotetext">I can't relate to that even though I'm a RW, for the first few years my husband was the only sorce of advise for me. I understand your frustration</div>

Bodine has given you the full spill for the continuous development of our relationships with our wives but your last comment above gives me the impression that there is lack of communication between you two.

I know a RW here in the UK, who every time somebody in her family is feeling sick, she is calling her Doctor friend in Russia to ask for advice, instead from visiting her family Doctor who BTW is Free here! From what little I know about her private life she used to do the same and ask her friends for financial advice and other things…….. now she is divorced after 3 years of marriage.

Zosya made it very clear that in the early years of the relationship the husband is the person where the RW will look for advice and help until she been here for some years and has acquired her own knowledge.

<div class="quote">Zosya_2 said:</div><div class="quotetext">I understand your frustration, but may be you can understand me, when all of us become labeled on example of one particular woman. We are not the same.</div>

Zosya is quite correct IMV. Some people simply need more support and reassurance than others. I don't think it has much to do with nationality or sex.

Having said that, as others have posted, uprooting oneself from all that was familiar and all one's support structures and re-locating to a foreign country where one is almost entirely reliant upon one individual, is no easy task. It takes enormous courage, patience and determination.

Perhaps your wife feels she's not getting enough reassurance and support from you and is therefore turning to others for what she perceives she's lacking?

FWIW, my wife often 'felt like a baby' during her first year here. She would be made of stone if she hadn't. But it does get better and easier with time.

Give it time. I'm sure things will improve.

Why would it be exactly "reasurance" or doubting advices she got from husband if she discuss the same issues with her friends? That's just normal females talks: - he said that.. I said that ... what do you think about that .. how it was in your case and so on.. Why do feel some sort of "jealousy" ?

Beside her friends may be don;t give her a feeling of beeing "like a baby" because they were in the same position once upon a time

<div class="quote">Lorenzo said:</div><div class="quotetext">Zosya_2,
or child rearing advice. Her child is my stepchild, so I think I deserve to be heard. After all, I was a teenager once, back in the last century. Every person is different in the way they raise their children. I try to teach what I think is proper behavior but I think because I grew up in the 1960's the times have changed. There are still the same issues such as getting good grades, doing homework and knowing the consequences of being sexually active at 15 or 16. </div>

My son is a step child to my husband and we had a lot of disagreement on the way of disciplining him etc. I can be very strict with my son, sometimes too harsh with him, but when I saw my husband doing the same I couldn't help myself but to go into overprotective mood. I don't think it has something to do with him being a step-dad. I saw the same happening in my auntie's family and she and her husband are biological parents. With time I had to restrict myself and not interfere when my husband was setting some rules, then my son felt betrayed by me. It was very difficult situation and often I felt like I'm between a rock and a hard place.

That is my inside in just this one situation, I hope it helps you to understand. Probably she wants to talk to others about the child issues because she is not comfortable with herself first of all, like I was.

Well whenever mom is away my stepson thinks it is playtime.
My wife and I are on the same page about some issues but not all and he seems to know what he can and cannot get away with when he is with me.
I am glad he is at the age where he needs his privacy because it gives me some time to relax. Three years ago there was no relaxing at any time.

Hello! My name is Michael. I am from Sacramento, CA, USA. I have had a good experience with one dating agency in Russia. Their website - www.chooselady.com I saw the picture of lady who I liked. I was interested in her and last year I visited Russia. We are very happy. And now we are making fiancé visa for her. Hey, guys, I can tell some words about this agency. They support anti-scam program. They care about reputation. All ladies are REAL. Managers of the marriage agency check women-clients identity (passport data, marital status etc.). So, you will avoid possibility to write to a phantom woman.

I know also that they provide such services as invitations to Russia, registration, apartment’s rent, booking of airline-, train- and bus tickets, transfer etc.

Email: office@chooselady.com
Or call: +7 906 3358481 (from 9.00 a.m. till 9 p.m. Moscow time)
The managers will reply you on all your questions.

Do not loose your chance! Write your letter right now!!!